Yesterday I fell from 30 feet high ladder but I don't get hurt. Why?

Can you decipher these quotes by Albert Einstein?
Blf xzm mvevi hloev z kilyovn lm gsv ovevo lm dsrxs rg dzh xivzgvw.

What will you call your mother's brother's brother-in-law?

On a special event at the prison, 5 prisoners John, Jacob, Krist, Tang, and Dang given a chance to go to a sauna and can bring one thing with them.

Following are the things that the prisoners bring with them.
John: A soda
Jacob: Thermos
Krist: Book named "How to kill"
Tang: A Walkman
Dang: Harmonica

Since it is a Sauna, no one can see each other. After a while When the steam is switched, Tang was found dead and there was blood all around.
J Bond was called and he instantly come to know who can be the murderer. How?

Can you name an animal whose killing cannot be performed without spilling your own blood?

By what process could you make a 'Tea-Table' into food?

Why is it very easy to weigh a fish?

Take 9 from 6, 10 from 9, 50 from 40, and leave 6.

How Come ??

You have two strings whose only known property is that when you light one end of either string it takes exactly one hour to burn. The rate at which the strings will burn is completely random and each string is different. How do you measure 45 minutes?

Joseph organises an exotic office New year party at the beach to his important fellow employees.

Following are the important people that will come to the party

1. Joseph

2. Joseph 2 girlfriends- Carol Vanstone and Tracey Hughes

3. The sales head Clay Vanstone.

4. Clay Vanstone 2 associates.

5. Mr. Jeremy and his Secret Tab.

They all need to cross a small river to reach the beach, however, Joseph has got just one boat.

There are few rules for crossing the river.

1. The capacity of the boat is limited to just two people.

2. Clay Vanstone associates will not stay with Joseph without Clay Vanstone.

3. Carol Vanstone and Tracey Hughes will not stay with the Clay Vanstone without Joseph.

4. Mr. Jeremy would never leave the Secret Tab alone.

5. Secret Tab counts as a person.

6. Only Joseph, Clay Vanstone or Mr. Jeremy can drive the boat.

7. The two girlfriends Carol Vanstone and Tracey Hughes will not stay with the Clay Vanstone without Joseph.

8. No Associates would stay with Joseph without their Clay Vanstone.

9. Mr.Jeremy will not leave the Secret Tab alone.